Lawn Care

I find it hard to care about lawn care. My lawn looks like I am a small-scale farmer and my crop is dandelions. I would estimate that, of a square foot of my yard, about 30% would qualify as some kind of grass. This evening I noticed these gorgeous patches of dark grass that had risen above all the rest of the grass since the last mowing. Standing in the driveway I thought “wouldn’t it be nice if my entire lawn were that stuff?” Upon closer inspection I realized it’s crabgrass.
My neighbors treat their lawns with sprays and spreads. One neighbor laid sod this spring. This is the second time I’ve had a neighbor lay sod. We all know how great sod looks on a new lawn. But do you know how great it looks next to my lawn? It is like sitting next to a guy at a wedding who’s wearing a $5,000 suit.

Every time I am out raking, picking up sticks from the dozen or so mature trees on my lot, or pulling weeds from the flowerbed every few years, all I can think about is that I’ll turn 50 this year, my father died at 58 of a massive heart attack, and I have 30 years of writing projects laying dormant in my study. I want to write. I don’t care about having a beautiful lawn. I don’t even care about having a lawn at all!
So here’s my solution. Writer Ranches. Let’s create subdivisions for writers. There will be a common building which will house space for entertaining and writing workshops. Each house will be four rooms: an eat-in kitchen, a bedroom, a bathroom, and a study. These houses will be inexpensive, zero-maintenance structures. And what will we do with all the money we’ve saved from such inexpensive housing? Hire groundskeepers, of course.

My Fixation With Flash Fiction

It all started last November at 2nd and Charles, a bookstore in Hagerstown, Maryland. It was there, that my friend Al Clingan handed me a book he’d discovered just moments before – 420 Characters by Lou Beach. I finished reading it today. I’ve dipped into it once every few days for six months, like some sort of fictional candy dish.
Several years ago I read MicroFiction, the anthology edited by Jerome Stern. I remember being attracted to but not hooked by the form. But Beach’s book has caught me, shaped my current writing project, and caused me to lift my snout and root out other important flash fiction collections. Here is the flash in my reading stack (thanks to recommendations from Sarah Manguso): Pieces for the Left Hand by J. Robert Lennon, Novels in Three Lines by Felix Feneon, and The Voice Imitator by Thomas Bernhard.
What is it about this form? Is it the simple, concrete, tight prose that the form demands? Is it the pent up energy, the speed at which the fuse burns and the way it leaves you to imagine so very much of the result?
And yet, for these same reasons, it is an uphill climb to write. The cutting and shaping that one must be willing to inflict on one’s prose requires new depths of heart and concentration. The collaboration with your future reader is taken to new intimacies as well, as you trust them to slow down, care for each word, and thoughtfully conjure all that you’ve left outside the frame. And then there is the ordering of the pieces. I’ve got nothing. You will want to do what I’ve done – ask your poet friends. They know that drill.

Quote and Comment, Butler

In her essay “Furor Scribendi” Octavia Butler wrote: “First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not. Habit will help you finish and polish your stories. Inspiration won’t. Habit is persistence in practice.”

This is the truth of writing, the unglamorous, dull truth.
When I got out of bed to write at 5AM this morning it was not inspiration that lifted me from my slumber. It was brute force, the decision again today to push myself down the path of habit. It is in this – taking action, establishing routine – that we get work done. I don’t believe in The Muse. Work is not mysterious. It is cause and effect. Here we have the craft of writing, not the art. Oh, and one more thing. Inspiration comes during perspiration. Inspiration is not the fuel that starts the effort, it is a residue that comes, sometimes, in a flash of delight. It is a gift.
Now, get to work.

The Status of the Dream – 1993

I finished my undergrad on the campus of Indiana University/Purdue University, Kokomo. I took Sociological Theory from Dr. Earl Wysong who was a member of the Socialist Party of America, and my Psychology 101 professor had once provided therapy to the tail gunner of the Enola Gay. And it was during this time that I found writing.
I was walking down the hall one evening and there was a poster – in remembrance of the 25th anniversary of the death of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. an essay contest entitled “The Status of the Dream – 1993.” I remember looking at the poster and thinking, “I can do that. I can write an essay, I can win that contest.”
I had no evidence that any of these claims were true.
I submitted my essay to the Chancellor’s office by the deadline and a few weeks later I received an invitation to a campus tea during Black History Month. I assumed everyone had received this invitation. I utterly failed to connect the essay I’d submitted to this bit of mail. I went home, slipped into my favorite pair of Wranglers, threw on a sweater, and headed off to the late afternoon event.
I was the minority in the room and I was not used to anything upscale. I tried to stand near the back and began to plan my exit as soon as I’d arrived. Twenty minutes into the proceedings a gentleman in a suit and tie – I was desperately under-dressed – stepped up to the mic and, of all things, began to speak of the essay contest.
Sweet Moses.
Later in the evening I had several folks walk up to me and congratulate me. The fellow in the suit told me that from my writing it was obvious that I was a student of Dr. King’s writing. I didn’t know how to tell him that I’d read part of Strength to Love, several of the speeches, and very little else.
As I walked to my car that evening I realized that there was something to this. I had moved total strangers, scholars even, with my writing.
I could do something with this.

Quote and Comment, Robinson

Marilynne Robinson wrote in the New York Times Book Review on 24 Sept. 2017: “Writing should always be exploratory. There shouldn’t be the assumption that you know ahead of time what you want to express. When you enter into the dance with language, you’ll begin to find that there’s something before, or behind, or more absolute than the thing you thought you wanted to express. And as you work, other kinds of meaning emerge than what you might have expected. It’s like wrestling with the angel: On the one hand you feel the constraints of what can be said, but on the other hand you feel the infinite potential. There’s nothing more interesting than language and the problem of trying to bend it to your will, which you can never quite do. You can only find what it contains, which is always a surprise.”

True. Even if we do try, we try in vain to explain instead of explore. And every time we find it to be so, that whatever we imagined producing is altered by the act of putting it in language – which is always different, always something else, and always better than what we fancied our wits might conjure. It is indeed a delight to be one’s first reader.

Style Is Content Is Style

Tone. Voice. Color. Style. These are four of the many terms that we toss about when attempting to describe the qualities of a piece of writing. Defining these is tricky, so any time we are offered a bit of clarity we should grab it.
I’ve begun listening to a series of lectures by Brooks Landon of The University of Iowa. They are talks focused on crafting sentences – how and why they work.
In the first lecture he states that style is a result of content. What is in the sentence – how it is constructed, what is there and what is not – determines the style.
I thought that style was much more elusive than that. A week ago I may have written something as tangled and sideways as: “the footprint left by a writer from the accumulated weight of his/her sensibilities, derived from the way they think about, feel, and experience life – this mash-up is what we call style.” Oh dear.
Landon’s explanation is fulfilling because it makes the writing, not the writer, the central focus. Instead of delving into the rocky terrains of psychology, micro-culture, and worldview, we are guided instead to consider syntax, word choice, and phrasing.
One way to test this is to transfer the principle into other creative mediums.
Does not the material from which a suit is made and the way this material is put together determine the suit’s style?
Do not the plants and the design of their beds determine the style of the garden?
Does not the choice of music and the choreography applied to it determine the style of the dance?
The power of your work is in the sentences, and nowhere else. And the choices you make about what is on the page and how it is consumed by your reader amounts to your style.
No need to dig further.
Thank you Professor Landon.

In Memoriam

A seat at the Westside Writer’s Workshop sits empty. Andrea Shuman stepped from our presence into the presence of her Creator and Savior on Friday, January 26th, a little after 11AM.

Sometimes her work was embedded in the facts of fairy tale. “‘You shall bear a girl-child,’ the frog croaked in a deep voice that reminded her of damp bogs and dark places.” Other times her work reflected a deep love for Victorian-era literature, with it’s mysterious characters, twilight settings, and the difficult lives of the servant class. Yet there were other stories, like that of a female assassin who had rescued a young girl from a life of certain suffering in Africa. “Sweat stung her eyes. Her head throbbed. She rolled her shoulders, flexed her fingers, and squinted down the sights again.”
A week after Thanksgiving, when the Workshop read this last piece – and the first time we met that tough yet deeply feeling female protagonist, I encouraged Andrea to simply write. To write without concern for punctuation or format, to write, to write 100 pages, to write more, to write until she had run her imagination dry. With prose that was functioning at this level that was all her work needed from her. A couple of weeks later she told us of her excitement. She was writing at that pace. And it was working.
Over the next couple of months Andrea was going to lead the Workshop through a reading of Jane Eyre. Her email on January 16th reflected her excitement. “I want us all to pick up on subtlety and details. Let’s start out with the first two chapters. I want to talk about point of view.”

We all leave this life with work-in-progress. And there is no loss in that. That is the goal of a creative life. To leave work-in-progress. Andrea was a writer. Success for a writer is measured in the reader’s desire to turn the page. Reading Andrea’s work I always wanted to turn the page.

I know I speak for the other members of our Workshop – Roger (her loving husband), Rita, Teresa, and Jim. We’re glad we had the chance to hone our craft together. It was our pleasure, Andrea. And now, as our eyes grow weaker, you write by the very best Light.

Two Projects At Once?

It’s common. And it is a great idea. It certainly is for entrepreneurs. Multiple streams of revenue. You get a bunch of ideas going and see which take off. Creatively, moving in many or more directions at once is a great way to quickly identify which project is going to bring the results you envision. And if you’re lucky enough to have a couple go the distance? All the better!
Some writers work on two (or more) projects at once – two novels, two poems, two screenplays, two short stories – one of each. They talk about how they have a couple of projects going and bounce back and forth between the two. They talk about both projects with the same enthusiasm and energy. I am convinced they know what they are doing.
I am not one of those writers.
Their way is not my way.
I am one of the single-threaded ones. One of the slow and lumbering ones. I cannot maintain two boiling pots at once. I find the switch to be too great. I find the switch to be a burden. Once I’m in a voice I want to stay there, dig in, and find intimacy with the tenor and tone of what I’m trying to perceive. I like to dive deep, and stay down until my tank is nearly empty. Then I like to return to the same reef, move slower, and look closer.
This means I finish fewer projects. I discover the ideas that aren’t going to work serially instead of in parallel. I have to prioritize what I work on, and plan a bit more. And my mood swings with the work at hand.
So it goes. We don’t pick which projects will succeed. And we don’t pick our creative DNA.

My Big Writerly Lesson for 2017

I am happiest as a writer when I’m neck deep in the throes of creating a book-length manuscript. I already knew this. I found it out while I was writing my first novel. Here’s the revelation for 2017:

I am a mess when I’m between projects.

I am out of sorts. I am a wondering vagrant. I am like a bear roaming from campsite to campsite in search of some morsel. I think I have a concept for the next novel and when I start trying to form the idea I find that it’s flat, empty. No delight. It’s like sand through my fingers. So I pack it in and move on to the next idea – the next possibility that might, just might, hold the excitement that I so desperately want to recreate.
It has gotten ridiculous. Not only am I jumping from idea to idea – metawriting for months on one of them – but I’m circling back and revisiting ideas thinking, hoping, digging, imagining there will be fire there when before there was barely a spark.
This is new territory for me. This is my first stint between long-form projects. I have no idea what to do, how to act. I don’t even know how to think about my writing in the midst of this. I feel useless. I binge on chocolate and episodes of The West Wing.
I’ve lost my way.
I know what you’re thinking. That I must fight through it. It is part of creating. I must put my head down and keep trudging through the woods. That I’ll find the next project in time.
You’re right. And this will have been part of the experience.
I’m still miserable.

Remember Christmas

I go to see my mom on Christmas Day. I take her flowers. It is like many other visits with the Alzheimers, that thickening veil that separates her from all else.
She is anxious. Who was my dad? She says again that I’m her son – she says it in that way that leaves me wondering if this is a sudden realization or common thinking out loud. She says she doesn’t see any problem so should be able to leave this place. She might even go teach again.
I’ve brought with me Eugene Peterson’s lovely translation of the Bible with the thought that I might read it to her – read her the Christmas story. We walk down the hall – she leans part on me and part on the wall from her bad hip and knee – and find a quiet lounge. I open the blinds to reveal blue sky.
Reading light.
I turn to Luke chapters 1 and 2 and ask her if she wants to read. She nods. I hand her her reading glasses. And within moments there it is. In spite of the fog that has overtaken her, she bends forward, her finger under each word, and reads. The vocabulary is not always right, punctuation fails her at times, yet she is calm. She is focused.
And she reads of Christmas.
She reads and finds – if only briefly, fleetingly. She reads and finds those rare and precious elements.
Peace and hope.